Insight and Healing

  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • Services
    • Spirit Quest Coaching

Grieving Through the Holidays: 50 Ideas To Help You Feel Better

December 24, 2020 by Barb Brown

Grief can be the garden of compassion.
If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life's search for love and wisdom. Rumi

Grief at any time can be a burden but grief at the holidays can bring you to your knees. This year especially has been a rough one. We have each lost something this year. A loved one, opportunities, a job, a dream, and more. I think this year, more than ever before, it's going to be important to honor our grief to get through this holiday season in a lighter way and step into 2021 feeling stronger and at peace with 2020.

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Or so the song says. But what happens when you are grieving and cannot get into the holiday spirit? Trying to be happy when you are grieving is a tough task. What would happen if you gave yourself permission to feel all of your emotions, grief, sadness, moments of joy, all of it!?

Emotions are there for a reason and contrary to popular belief there is not a filing cabinet where we can file those difficult emotions until after the holidays. If you attempt this it may be detrimental to your healing and your health. The best way to get through it is to realize that this holiday season will be different and allow all of your emotions to flow, tears and all.

I have two friends who have each lost a parent this year. I've been thinking about them and have written this with them in mind in an attempt to help provide support and comfort during this difficult time where all the world expects us to be happy. No need to "bah humbug" Christmas. With a little self-care and permission to be authentic in your emotions you can get through this season and maybe even enjoy a few moments along the way.

I lost my mom on Christmas night 2000 so I understand grief and the holidays. I still celebrate the Christmas season but I do it in a much more thoughtful way. And I have incorporated a practice called the 13 Holy Nights into my routine making the season much more meaningful. This is normally a very tender time for me and I have learned over the years just how to get through the season and feel moments of joy along the way. I am also dealing with my 94 year old father with dementia, thinking that this will be his last Christmas, making things extremely difficult. I have leaned into radical self care, the art of saying no, and keeping things simple. 

I want to share some of the things that help me through this difficult time. You don't have to do them all. The key is to do something, almost anything to move into another emotion, the goal is to move into a better feeling emotion. First, I think it's important to start with a few don'ts.

One very important note is that you should not use substances to drown your sorrows (drugs & alcohol). First, alcohol is a depressant and even if you feel some relief at first, eventually it will have a negative impact.  Also, when you drink or drug you numb ALL emotions, the "bad" and the "good" emotions, so you cannot feel into those simple moments of joy which is what gets you through the grief. Please don't be afraid of your emotions. Allow them to flow in and out, and if you feel stuck seek the support of a trained counselor or mentor. 

Eat "comfort food" at a minimum. I have found that comfort food is similar to alcohol. It may feel good at the moment but can come back to haunt you in the end. Too much sugar weakens the immune system making you more susceptible to getting sick and grief is already stressing your body. You also run the risk of getting an upset stomach creating more trouble than help. I suggest sticking with a simple diet with balanced nutrition and plenty of fresh water.

Now, on to the "do" list. Here are some things that make me feel better.

1. Keep things simple
2. Say NO when you need to
3. Get plenty of sleep
4. Rest your body
5. Get out of bed every morning
6. Journal
7. Create SoulCollage® cards
8. Take an epsom salt bath
9. Cuddle on the couch with blankets and an uplifting movie or book

10. Listen to music
11. Dance to the music
12. Sing with the music
13. Play with dogs and kitties
14. Call your best friend
15. Meet a friend for coffee, lunch, or a walk in the park
16. Write a letter to the loved one you lost
17. Go see light displays. I enjoy the zoo and botanic gardens.
18. Take a walk outside
19. Eat simply
20. Drink plenty of water
21. Keep things at home tidy
22. Create a vision board
23. Adult coloring books
24. Read a good book or listen to a book on audio
25. Use essential oils. Lavender is great for sleeping. Young Living's Peace and Calming is very soothing. And Joy essential oil is specifically for grief.
26. Go outside at night and look up at the stars and moon
27. Sit by the fire and watch the flames dance
28. Ask for help if you need it
29. Allow all of the feelings to flow
30. Understand that grief is a process that circles round and round
31. Practice gratitude
32. Have some fun
33. Be creative
34. Go to church or an online worship service
35. Allow yourself to cry
36. Allow yourself to laugh
37. Allow yourself to stay home
38. Make lists of tasks you need to accomplish
39. Make lists of fun things you want to do
40. Move your body, exercise, take a walk, lift some weights
41. Get a massage
42. Go for acupuncture
43. Meet with a counselor, mentor, or coach
44. Pray
45. Meditate
46. Breathe. Remember to breathe!
47. Be patient with yourself
48. Start a new hobby or craft
49. Celebrate and honor your loved one
50. Celebrate and honor yourself
 

This is my mom, in the middle with me (on the right) and my oldest sister, Gloria, many years ago. My mom loved Christmas! Decorating, making cookies, hosting the family, and  sharing gifts. There isn't a day that I don't think about her.  I have pictures of her all over the house. Her spirit will always be with me.

"Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings." Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Grief doesn't go away over night. Actually, grief never really goes away. It cycles and becomes a part of us. There are moments when grief seems so far away and sometimes we have moments of profound grief that completely take us by surprise. Allow those moments. Be gentle with yourself in those moments. Breathe in those moments. Rest in those moments. From each of those moments, by allowing the grief to flow, you are able to move to another level of healing. The goal is to tap into moments of joy or at least moments without grief. Let it out. Allow it to flow. Practice self care. Practice self love. If you feel stuck in your grief or have trauma associated with the person you lost, I highly encourage you to seek support from a trained counselor.

As always, if you want my support, please feel free to contact me. I can help you get to the next level of peace and step into more moments of joy. But you must allow yourself to feel the grief to get to the lasting joy. Be well. I wish you peace. I wish you love. I wish you joy.

2020 – An Epic Journey

October 1, 2020 by Barb Brown

What a Year 2020 Has Been,
And We Still Have 3 Months to Go!

There is No Going Back

March 6th was my birthday. I spent the day with good friends. Lunch, dinner, and then a fireside chat on my patio that night. My life hasn’t been the same since. And I know that your life hasn’t been the same either. I heard it on the news in disbelief. The talk of “social distancing” and the prediction of a global pandemic. It was hard to believe that something like that could come true. Surely our scientists, government, and health care system could stop this thing and protect us. But they could not.

I, like many others, have taken a step back these past few months as an opportunity of self-reflection as well as healing. I was impacted by the stress of a virus out of control, lock downs, and financial concerns, but I have also been dealing with family stress for the last three years that has had a bigger impact on my life, health, and well-being. In a way, I was thankful for the lockdown as it gave me permission to stay home, isolate, recuperate, and heal from the trauma I have been experiencing for the past 3 years. 

I'd like to share a bit of my journey with you here

Three years ago my dad asked me to help him with some of the management of his business (commercial rental property). As I dug into the work that needed to be done I recognized a severe decline in his mental abilities, but he was not willing to look at or discuss the situation with me. Last year I went to a doctor's appointment with him and said out loud that I was concerned about him and asked the doctor for an evaluation for dementia. My father became enraged, hired an attorney, and cut me off, in fear of losing control.

Earlier this year we were able to file for a third party conservator but the hearing was delayed because of the C-19 shut down. In June the court granted our request. We now have a conservator overseeing his finances and managing the business and I am out of the line of fire, so to speak. I have not seen my dad in over a year and have not talked to him on the phone since late February. It has been a difficult journey and I know that I have done my best and did what I needed to do to take care of myself as well as my father. My dad did receive an evaluation and was diagnosed with moderate executive dysfunction last July (2019).

I will be talking about this journey more in the future as well as how to manage the grief and ambiguous loss that this scenario can bring up.

Not Business as Usual

It seems that between taking care of my dad's business, preparing for the court hearing, and then the craziness that this year has brought, I have not had the energy or clarity around my business and yet new insights have been coming to me for months and I wanted to take this opportunity to share with you the direction I will be heading. I am very excited about the new ideas and opportunities ahead of me.

A New Business Name and Website

Last January I realized that I wanted to rebrand my business using the web domain of my very first spiritual mentor, Chris Donovan, who passed away in April of 2017. I so resonate with insight and healing and her energy will be infused in this website and in all that I offer. Without her guidance, I would not be here today offering this powerful work. The website is nearly complete and ready to greet all visitors with a wide variety of information, inspiration, and opportunities to heal, grow, and tune in to spirit.

Hypnotherapy

In the spring of 2019, I completed my hypnotherapy certification. I spent the fall practicing with clients and was just getting ready to start this amazing work when everything was shut down due to the pandemic. 

I will be offering hypnotherapy in person again soon and I am also offering it online now as well. I will also be integrating hypnotherapy in most everything that I do because I believe it is such a powerful and valuable tool.

Radical Self-Care

I am in the process of creating a new series around self-care that I will be delivering in the coming weeks and months. Look for the email series to begin soon. I'm so excited to be pulling this information together and to be able to offer many of my favorite self-care techniques with you. I will bring it all together later this year as an online course and share it with my community first. If you are not on my list, you can sign up here to receive this series.

There are so many techniques to choose from including:

  • Creating healthy routines and rituals
  • Healthy eating and healthy movement
  • Meditation
  • Hypnosis and self hypnosis
  • Aromatherapy and the use of essential oils
  • Holistic health modalities for health and immune support
  • And so much more!

There are so many things I'm looking forward to in the coming months and I'm glad you are on this journey with me. I have much more coming soon and I can't wait to share it with you!

Until next time, I wish you joy!

There is Something About a Waltz

May 19, 2020 by Barb Brown

Today is cloudy and gray and I'm tired and worried about current events, so I found myself in a bit of a low place emotionally. I spent the morning journaling and meditating. Then, I enjoyed a relaxing bath with epsom salt, sea salt, and essential oils. I was listening to one of my favorite stations on Pandora radio and it occurred to me that I was feeling a bit lighter. I noticed that the song playing was a waltz and I recalled feeling a bit brighter every time a waltz comes on. So I started thinking about the power of music.

There are songs that make me cry, songs that make me want to dance, and songs that bring me joy. Music soothes the soul, warms the heart, and can clear away tears within just of few beats. The power of music cannot be denied. What is it about music that is so moving and healing?

When we listen to music our brain releases a feel good chemical called dopamine which has an effect on emotion, perception and movement. Music impacts our emotions, lifts our mood, reduces anxiety, raises motivation and helps lighten depression.

Music therapy is a scientifically validated intervention and is used for multiple physical and mental health conditions 
including: 

1

Improves invasive procedures

Improves invasive procedures. Including colonoscopies, knee surgery, and cardiac angiography. Those who listened to music in the operating room reported less discomfort during their procedure. Hearing music in the recovery room lowered the use of opioid painkillers.

2

Reduces side effects of cancer therapy

Listening to music reduces anxiety associated with chemotherapy and radiotherapy. It can also quell nausea and vomiting for patients receiving chemotherapy.

3

Aids pain relief

Music therapy has been tested in patients ranging from those with intense acute pain to those with chronic pain from arthritis. Overall, music therapy decreases pain perception, reduces the amount of pain medication needed, helps relieve depression, and gives people a sense of better control over their pain.

4

Improves quality of life for dementia patients

Because the ability to engage with music remains intact late into the disease process, music therapy can help to recall memories, reduce agitation, assist communication, and improve physical coordination.

source: Harvard Health Publishing

So the next time you are feeling blue try turning up the volume on your favorite song and see how it can have a positive impact on your mood, motivation, or joy. 

“Music has a power over the body, a language that possesses an inherent nature to make us feel.”

—Deborah Bradway, MT-BC, from “Music Therapy as a Treatment for Substance Abuse with At-Risk Children and Adolescents”

And if you are looking for more ideas to find joy in your life please join me every Tuesday at 1pm ET. Click here for more information.

Drum Making Joy

May 16, 2019 by Barb Brown

One of the commitments I have made to myself is to do more "fun" things. So when I had an opportunity to make my own drum, I said YES! I didn't realize how fun and easy it was. Ten of us gathered on a rainy Saturday morning, greeted with soaking leather hides and all of the tools we would need to create our very own drum. In less than 3 hours my drum was complete and in 7 days it was dry and ready to use. 

There are many fun classes and workshops at the Healing Arts Center where my office is so I have an abundance of opportunities to say yes to something fun. Other places to look for fun activities include the local recreation centers, craft centers, and other healing places. I recommend trying Yoga, Pilates, Gong Baths, Drum Making, Drum Circles, and SoulCollage®. I'd love to hear how you "have fun." 

If you are struggling to have fun or find the joy in your life, I encourage you to contact me to see how I might be able to help. Simply click this link to contact me. I look forward to hearing from you.

Until next time, I wish you joy.

Next Page »

Free Guided Meditation!

Simply fill in the form below to receive your free stress reduction meditation to start your journey to a stress-less and more joyful life.
Thank you!

How Do You Sleep?

Coloring Me Calm Adult Coloring Book

Buy Your Copy Today!

A Simple Book About Health

Also available on Kindle!

My Recent Posts

  • Grieving Through the Holidays: 50 Ideas To Help You Feel Better
  • 2020 – An Epic Journey
  • There is Something About a Waltz
  • Drum Making Joy
  • A Video About Joy

Tags

Barb Brown Being Happy Get Good Sleep Happiness Happy Healthy Living for Success Healthy Living to Find More Joy Heart's Desire Heart's Desire Coaching Holistic Health Joy Qigong Self Care Sleep Success Whole Hearted Living

Categories

  • 13 Holy Nights
  • Anxiety
  • Coaching
  • Depression
  • Grief
  • Happiness
  • Health
  • Holistic Health
  • Holy Nights
  • Joy
  • PTSD
  • Qigong
  • Self Care
  • Sleep
  • Stress
  • Traditional Chinese Medicine
  • Uncategorized
  • Weight Loss

Order Your Richway Amethyst Biomat here.

“What if we are meant to do what we secretly dream?”

-Jana Stanfield

Tags

Barb Brown Being Happy Get Good Sleep Happiness Happy Healthy Living for Success Healthy Living to Find More Joy Heart's Desire Heart's Desire Coaching Holistic Health Joy Qigong Self Care Sleep Success Whole Hearted Living

Disclaimers & Legal Rights

Affiliate/Earnings Disclaimer

Terms of Use

Copyright © 2021 · Barb Brown * Insight and Healing *